DANA'S STORY

It was three years ago that I finally thanked God for my life. Up until then I was so lost. I know now that I wasn't but honestly I felt like I was worthless and would never have His love or for that matter any other person's. I know now that I, Dana, am His creation! I believe He has plans for me but the years I spent not believing, not loving, not living.....I thought were wasted. I was wrong. He WAS acting in my life all along. Powerful acts, some not understandable, some horrific, ALL confusiong. I never understood why I was given the abusive mother, the step brother who raped me as a child, the father who abandoned me, let alone the birth of my severly handicapped daughter who died when she was 21. Yes, I went to Catholic schools and church and yes, I thought all of those 'bad' things that happened were a punishment for my sins, so I turned my back. I stopped kneeling. I stopped looking up. Anger was my life, no faith. All was gone, or so I thought.

I believe now that God created Me! He exclaimed in joy at His cxreation! I wasn't the bad little girl who deserved what my mother did to me. I wasn't the bad little girl whose daddy abandoned her and I wasn't the bad person who deserved to have a handicapped child. NO, I know now that He was preparing ME for His precious gift. A gift for me! A gift of purpose on earth and I hope in Heaven. By living through those tormenting years and surviving, my 'gift' is now realized. I honestly believe He was preparing me so that I could and would handle and accept this wondrous gift and use it to glorify Him! He gave me a gift of compassion for others.

What I think is that from all the abuse, sorrow, grief for what wasn't, He was preparing me to act, and acting I have been doing through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. My heart is so filled with desire to help others. Not for glorification of myself, No, not for attention, but solely to help others in their time of need. All of my 'acts' are done with a heart full of mercy and compassion. My 'gifts' from God. Just as he performed 'acts' on me, I now can Act for Him by loving others and freely giving of myself in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.