PAM'S STORY

"END OF CONSTRUCTION - THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE" Ruth Graham Bell died June 14, 2007, this was on her tombstone.

My testimony is one of a demolition and reconstruction story. Over the years since I have personally known Jesus as my Savior and have the Holy Spirit with me at all times, there has been one construction project after another.

The summer of 1976 I was introduced to the charismatic renewal in the Catholic Church. My sister and brother-in-law had just received the baptism in the Holy Spirit in southern California and moved back to Forest Grove. We then started a charismatic prayer meeting with ten other people. The first 15 years it was exciting to participate in the movement of the Spirit. Many healings were performed, spiritual as well as physical. There was a man who had his leg lengthened, a man who was cured of a brain tumor, my healings were of a more spiritual nature.

My most life changing healing took place at a retreat where I was exorcised of a demonic spirit of defiance. The removal of that spirit opened my self grafted and protected soul/spirit to many other healings. Fear of the dark was another healing that took place as a result of the brothers and sisters of the St. Anthony's prayer community praying with me. Measuring LOVE out in small quantities was healed in my spirit. I used to believe that you cannot 'really love' more than one person at a time. This misguided psychological behavior seeded itself in my soul in my youth when I was just 5 years old. Jesus took me back to that moment in time; let me re-live that experience with Him present which allowed me to learn to LOVE all people all the time. I became aware that there is no limit to the amount of love that one can give or receive.

I am a cradle Catholic born and raised in the church. Since 1976 I have come full circle from denial of all that is liturgical and regulated to being open to the catechism. I have not yet decided that I believe all that the catechism states but I am on a quest to study and decide. Everything I read I digest according to the Holy Spirit that abides within me. This interaction of the Holy Spirit is who I am and what I am. My construction period is not nearly finished; we, the Spirit and I, have a long way to go, but daily communication with Jesus is remodeling me into a child of God and sister to all.

My favorite spiritual author is Henri Nouwen. Henri, through his writing, leads me to change. Holy Scripture, as always provides a solid background for thoughts and actions of a child of God. Over the years when the Lord requires a change in me - the Lord sets the stage, provides the props, actors, and script to lead me to the next step toward Heaven on Earth. He beckons me to follow and then allows me to choose to follow His script or write my own play. In the past when I have chosen to write my own script or make changes to the play--I always end up back at the beginning. Try again is the message I hear. When I follow the Lord's script I take a step in the right direction and for my correct choice I receive: peace, love, joy, that sooths my savage soul. Dear friend, you would think by the age of 58 I would choose life each and every time - I don't - I find myself still choosing "the world, the flesh and or the devil".

As always my plan is to continue to quite myself, listen to the Holy Spirit and act on the promptings that say: Love God, Love your neighbor as yourself. When I make the wrong choice, as I often do, I repent and start over knowing that: "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger (has a lot of patience) and rich in LOVE." Psalm 145:8

AMEN ALLELUIA
Love and Blessings to each of you