I was a participating member of the sex, drugs and rock and roll generation. I didn't like myself, but had no language for it, I wasn't pretty enough, smart enough, good enough. But, I could sit around my dorm room passing around a joint, singing with Bob Dylan:
I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.
As I grew into adulthood I could hide the insecurities that plagued me but I couldn't make them go away. So I achieved. I got into my own business at 24 and had my boy friends to assure me I was OK. I had my girlfriends to talk about my boyfriends with, and I had money to spend on clothes and accessories that promised me friendship and security.
One day in my office I looked around at my situation. I thought, "Well, I've satisfied my goals. I have girl friends, and boy friends. I have a good job." I remember thinking, "O my God, if this is it, if this is what I worked so hard and long for, if this is the meaning of life, if this job and these friends and these clothes, and this purse, if this is it, I'd rather be dead!"
It's not that I was suicidal, I wasn't. It's that I felt like a veil had been pulled from my eyes and all of a sudden I could see clearly the truth that I exchanged for lies, the vanity and meaninglessness of my life.
It was very bizarre to talk to God. Some of you take it for granted. But the only praying I ever did was in Hebrew, and it was usually saying amen to a Rabbi. Normal people didn't talk to God! But I remember getting on my knees and saying something to the effect of: "Oh God!! my life is such crap, if you are there, please show me!"
The next months of my life were crazy. I don't have time to describe all God did, but the day before I gave my life to Jesus I was crying in my bedroom. These words came from my mouth: "God for the first time, in what seems like forever, I know that you are real and you are there. But, I need to know your name. Please, please, please don't be Jesus."
As a Jew, I understood that much of anti-semitism in this world has happened with Christians as active or passive participants. My whole life I believed that the only people I could trust were Jews. I grew up in the aftermath of the holocaust with relatives who watched it happen from across the ocean.
It was like the scene in Hotel Rowanda where hotel manager, Paul Rusesabagina, gets it. He gets that the world isn't going to respond. He gets that there is going to be a major slaughtering of his people. Maybe some of you have experienced bigotry or racism, in Jesus name. It's very damaging.
But, I was so desperate. I was so completely desperate, so I said, "But if you are Jesus, and you prove it to me, I will give the rest of my life to serving you! All you need to do is answer these three questions which were basically how this Jewish girl from Skokie could know Jesus.
The next day Eddie Longoria, a young Italian man I met at a party once and spoke to for five minutes showed up at my office and invited me out for a drink. He picked me up and we placed our order. He looked at me and said, "Adey, I am a Christian and I believe God speaks to us today. He told me to tell you 3 things." Then Eddie spoke 3 sentences answering my 3 questions. Every cell of my body seemed to spin out in 52 directions. I encountered Jesus Christ!
Today Adey is the senior pastor at the Iowa City Vineyard Church, serving her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
